Currently Writing: Chapter One.
Over the last few days I have been actually writing. It feels so good to be able to type that. I was hoping to have written a lot more yesterday but I had a nightmare day, and spent my lunch break trying to get my tyre fixed and wolf down dinner before I got back to work (I’d run over a screw whilst stuck in ridiculously awful traffic en route to work. Such is life). By the time I got home I was so tired I barely kept my eyes open to watch Bake Off, then went to bed shortly after.
Today is another day and I have been a very busy bee (sort of) researching lots of lovely things for something else, which I will talk about in future posts when I know more and have more to tell you. But now I have put that to one side and am ready to get writing again. Dan is just reading what I’ve written thus far and I am about to make a coffee, just a simple black one because honestly I make enough with milk at work and actually they aren’t as good (in my opinion of course).
The first few pages seem quite wooden, as I read them back. I also kind of felt that when I was writing them, it wasn’t the same voice in my head reading the words to me as it usually is (not like, in a medical way just like, as you read stuff you hear it in your head). But Dan, having now finished reading the pages has just informed me it all reads the same. Maybe it’s just me and I’m just being picky. I feel like writing a novel is such a different experience than writing a script. Mostly because in the first draft there is so much room for error. In a script it’s either bad or good and I can just tell where I went wrong and how to fix it. But maybe that’s also because I’ve studied screenwriting intensely for three years and had numerous incredible tutors who have helped me in lots of different ways – this is like passing my driving test and flying solo for the first time. The only people I know who can help me are people in the same boat as me, some are obviously much better, but none are like, lecturer level/aren’t real grown ups yet with grown up successes.
Part of me wonders if things will ever change for me, and if it doesn’t then that’s cool because I can progress at work and slowly get used to writing around my job. But it would really suck if I didn’t get my work out there – not for money or fame or whatever but I just love writing so much. I just want to be able to do it all the time and have people want to read it because they like it.
It’s early days and I’m still feeling positive for the most part. Although that might change the more I research similar stuff (gotta know my audience). Be prepared for the “honeymoon” phase to end and the “crippling self doubt” to begin. I just hope I stay on track because this time I don’t have a tutor to make sure I keep going, or a consequence if I stop, other than it being a shame because I love this story. And also this is a novel and it’s much slower going than any script I’ve written. I’m not really sure where this rant went, it started so positive and now it’s just a mess. Sorry guys!
I need to get back to work. Slippers are on and the coffee is ready.
Don’t tread on the flowers.